Planning a Funeral:

When it comes to the celebrations of weddings and funerals, we tend to think of them as primarily family events, and such they are, but they are not entirely family events: the minute we walk through the doors of the church, these family events become parish events. That which seemed so very private now becomes public, and this public sacramental celebration becomes part of the patrimony of the Church.

The rites do not belong to individuals, they belong to the Church as a whole. As individuals, couples, and even families, we participate in something larger than ourselves when we celebrate the rites of the Church.

Sometimes, people will develop some ideas for funeral celebrations that are quite personalized, or ideas that come from attendance at a funeral in another faith tradition, only to find that their ideas do not mesh with the Rite of Christian Funerals as prescribed by the Church. The Church maintains rites for various celebrations, not to place limits on personal expression, but to provide the consistency, dignity and solemnity, which these rites provide. Celebrating the ritual for funerals in the Church actually strengthens us for the task at hand: burying our beloved. Since, then, we do not need to “reinvent the wheel” each time we celebrate a funeral, we are liberated from the potentially burdensome task of over- or under-planning the liturgy and allow the beauty, sacredness and peace of the rite to carry through.

While planning a wedding, a priest works with a couple well in advance of their wedding day, using the liturgy planning itself as a teaching moment. Some unusual expectations can be reeled in and others brought forward to help the couple plan a celebration that is truly Catholic.

For funerals, however, this teaching moment comes at a time of grieving for family members, and for some people who are not practicing their faith, a time of first contact with the Church after many years’ absence. They are surprised to find that aspects of non-Catholic funerals, which they have attended, are not in accordance with the Order of Christian Funerals governing Catholic funeral rites. It is the role and responsibility of the priest, patiently and charitably, to guide them toward the liturgically appropriate elements of a Catholic funeral Mass. A funeral Mass can be very spiritually fulfilling and emotionally satisfying without overpersonalization. The rites themselves, formed over hundreds of years of faith practice, can bring hope, peace and renewal. We can trust the Church’s guidance in these matters and even find true joy in our celebrations.
 

To arrange for a funeral please contact the COKAS office : 706-453-7292 x 4 or 

[email protected]